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Top 5 Man Movies

Here's a list of the top 5 Man Movies of all time. Starting with number 5...

5. Dumb and Dumber

Two best friends Lloyd and Harry travel across the country in chase of a girl, but that's not what makes this movie so great. It's the fact that these two guys are the only two people that are actually dumber than ourselves. Perhaps that's what makes this movie so entertaining. Either that, or the 5 minute shit scene that will have every guy splitting at the seems.

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4. Office Space

Perhaps one of the greatest movie's of all time. Period. Every working man can relate to this movie and everyone has at one point in their life seriously considered trying to pull off the master plan themselves. This movie lives out your dreams of just giving your boss the finger in the greatest way possible. Plus the iconic copier smashing scene that has inspired thousands of remakes on youtube is a classic.

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3. The Hangover



No movie epitomizes what a being a man is like more than "The Hangover." Let's face it, we've all woken up in a puddle of our own piss and vomit not knowing where we are or if the person in bed with us is a guy or a girl. No? ...well we can all definitely remember a time when someone slipped roofies into our drink and we woke up in an abandoned house and our ass hurt from being dragged up the stairs...it was because of the stairs right? Either way, this movie celebrates the dying days of a man's single life and that in its self makes this a great man movie. The wake up scene will either have you laughing your brains out or reminding you of some of your glory days.

                                    Check it out

2.  I Love You, Man

Ah the bromance. Some people in society look down upon the bromance, but those people are either gay or have vaginias. The bromance is the strongest connection between men and this movie shows men around the world, that together...we don't really accomplish much, but damnit we have some fun doing it! It is one of the most underrated movies of our time. I mean nothing is funnier then Paul Ruud's character as he stumbles with some of the most awkward lines in movie history.

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1. Anchorman


Sexism, man humor, and mustaches. Need I say more? No movie can come close to the instant quotes you and your bros will be using on an hourly basis. If you haven't seen this movie yet, go cut off your balls because you are not a man, simple as that. The random fight scene in the middle of the movie shows just what it means to be a man...some good old fashion ass whooping.

Check it out 

The Road Trip

       I'm on the road right now going up to the sticks in West Virginia and I thought to myself how great road trips are. Now I'm not talkin' about  the getting dragged out of the house by your parents road trip, I'm talking about "Man Trips." I'm talking about you and your best buds going out camping for the weekend. It's one of the best things a guy can do for three simple reasons

1. You can get away from your woman's constant yaping.

2. You don't have to worry about anything except having a good time with your bro's

3. And above all else...you can pee where ever you want.

      Let's face it, nothing makes you feel more manly and free then pissing on some beautiful flowers up in the mountains. Pissing on nature is your way of giving the world the finger, and damn it feels good. In fact, I don't think I could ever go back to peeing in a toilet again!

Modern day slavery...

       What's wrong with a man marking his territory? We do it with fences, what's so wrong about a little yellow liquid? Heck it's less noticeable then a big ugly fence, well if you don't count the gut wrenching smell. Anyways, for those tree huggers out there reading this right now, why are you reading this? Don't you know the only thing a man should be doing with a tree is cutting it down with a chainsaw or chopping it down with a rusty ax? But if you do decide to read this be at peace, for urine is actually good for plants. So take that nature, not only am I humiliating you in front of the world, but deep down inside you love it! So next time your neighbor catches you pissing on his plants, just tell him you're doing him a favor, and when he turns around take a shit on his doorstep, that'll teach him to question you...

Cracked

Simple post for today, wanna show you guys a great website that I get a lot of my inspiration from.

Check it out, trust me it's hilarious.

Cracked.com

The problem with video games

       Everyone complains about how expensive video games are today. 60 dollars for a few hours of fun and multiple days of pure rage and frustration, ridiculous! But really it's a great deal, buy one Call of Duty and you get the whole collection free. I mean they're all so similar if you play one of them you've played them all.

Guess in the comments which CoD this is

          Call of Duty isn't the only game to fall into this trap. Guitar Hero and Rock Band milked every cent out of their games while we suckers ate that shit up like it was Lucky Charms. Don't get me wrong it was a great idea, but even Itunes doesn't rip you off that badly for music!

         The Elder Scrolls, Fable, sports games, they're all the same basic game with some slight addition. Look at the highly anticipated Skyrim. The main addition? Dragons, awesome concept, I can't wait to fight one myself, but Goddamn 60 bucks for that addition?! It sounds more like an expansion to me.

        But don't even get me started on Madden, if I have to hear Chris Collinsworth one more day in my life comment on just how stupid the interception I just threw was, I will literally hunt down the makers of Madden and their families, tie them down, and force them to listen to a loop of his commentary until their ears bleed profusely.

Believe it or not I would actually rather listen to this guy than Collinsworth

...yeah I think that sums up all I have to say for Madden.

        So you may be wondering, "Hey Brian, what game do you like then?" Well I think the most original game that actually makes use of its sequels is a game I don't really like that much...Mass Effect. This game actually makes you feel like the last game you bought and played actually means something in the grand scheme of things. Have some good old fashion blue alien sex? Well she won't suddenly stop returning your calls and telling you that it was a "one time thing" and that the only reason she did it was because she was hammered out of her mind...luckily we never have to deal with that again...

       So if you disagree or agree with what I say please do comment

Why Baseball is a Dying Sport

       Baseball has reached an all time low...literally. Last year's World Series tied for the worst baseball t.v. rating in history, and to prove my point, it is tied with the prior year for the worst. So for two years standing the World Series of baseball has been  about as entertaining as putting dog shit in a microwave...okay that may have been a slight exaggeration, but it is still sad when the Championship series, the pinnacle of a ridiculously long season, has the same amount of viewers as a regular season Monday night football game.
         
Now I could end this blog right now, and leave baseball to its slow and painful death along with all the other horrible reality shows on t.v...I'm looking at you Jersey Shore.

The show is this for 30 minutes...I'm not kidding

       ...But I love baseball, it is Central America's Pastime Goddammit! So I went in a little deeper researching just what made baseball so unappealing to American's. Soon I found myself balls deep in steroid abuse, fat sweaty men, and 'tweaked' hamstrings.

       First off, Baseball may have one of the dumbest mascots I have ever seen. Not only are the Phillies and the Red Sox's mascots eerily similar, they both resemble Shrek's vomit mixed in with some vegetables and thinly sliced shit.

          But then again every sport has their wtf? moments when it comes to mascots like UC Santa Cruz's banana slug mascot for instance. That's when it hit me. Baseball has joined soccer as the only

Where's the card ref! Did you see how hard he stared at me?!?

sport where players can get hurt without even being touched. Never in my life have I seen so many professional athletes get injured running all of 30 yards to first base. You would think with all the time waiting in the dugout they could do a little stretching or something. Of course I don't blame them, I'd fake an injury too if I had to play 162 games a season. At the end of the day, American's watch sports to see the best athletes in the world compete. Unfortunately baseball isn't exactly filled to the rim with top class athletes. You don't see football fans saying, "Joe Montana did it on beer and hotdogs!!"

        Baseball is still a beautiful sport and requires a vast amount of skill, but no one wants beautiful, we want violence, speed, and power. So maybe instead of using bats to hit baseballs they should turn that shit into a beat down brawl, cage match style. I guarantee you it'd gain interest. Hell, I'd watch it.