The Road Trip

       I'm on the road right now going up to the sticks in West Virginia and I thought to myself how great road trips are. Now I'm not talkin' about  the getting dragged out of the house by your parents road trip, I'm talking about "Man Trips." I'm talking about you and your best buds going out camping for the weekend. It's one of the best things a guy can do for three simple reasons

1. You can get away from your woman's constant yaping.

2. You don't have to worry about anything except having a good time with your bro's

3. And above all else...you can pee where ever you want.

      Let's face it, nothing makes you feel more manly and free then pissing on some beautiful flowers up in the mountains. Pissing on nature is your way of giving the world the finger, and damn it feels good. In fact, I don't think I could ever go back to peeing in a toilet again!

Modern day slavery...

       What's wrong with a man marking his territory? We do it with fences, what's so wrong about a little yellow liquid? Heck it's less noticeable then a big ugly fence, well if you don't count the gut wrenching smell. Anyways, for those tree huggers out there reading this right now, why are you reading this? Don't you know the only thing a man should be doing with a tree is cutting it down with a chainsaw or chopping it down with a rusty ax? But if you do decide to read this be at peace, for urine is actually good for plants. So take that nature, not only am I humiliating you in front of the world, but deep down inside you love it! So next time your neighbor catches you pissing on his plants, just tell him you're doing him a favor, and when he turns around take a shit on his doorstep, that'll teach him to question you...